The scale was ugly- I won't lie. I'm not usually one to share this publicly but wish I could create a big flashing reminder on my phone, fridge, & wallet at all times and this is the closest I can come.
287...yes--that's a 2-8 :( I am amazed at how quickly the 'hovering within 5 pounds' turned into this again. I was sick and getting on the scale was not a priority. I was lazy- I let some of my good habits go. I stopped exercising. even when sick, I would catch up on tv completely sedentary rather than moving my body. I used to walk in place or do stretches, yoga, toning --at least during the commercials and often the nightly news. I bought ingredients to make sweets for the holidays--and when I ran out of time to make an extra batch, we ate the ingredients instead. A handful of chocolate chips here; a late night of peanut butter and fluff on a spoon...I do not feel guilty but really wish I'd just taken the 30 seconds to get on the scale and see the impact.
I lost all accountability to myself and that is why I am practically right back where I started. Except I am still generally healthier and don't eat any piece of random chocolate or salty snack put in front if me. I threw away half a bag of chocolate squares because they really were not what I enjoy. I have invested in the tools to help me succeed--and I shudder to think where I might be right now if I did not.
I said about a week ago that I would be realistic about holidays but would then recommit to myself. I signed in to myfitnesspal; started wearing my fitbit religiously again (but need to set up synching with a different computer since mine died-- wish they had wireless synching!). I am planning on getting back in touch with my program at UMass--even if i can't attend monthly meetings, I CAN send my food logs for a while to keep myself accountable.
I know this is a journey so I do not feel as if I've "failed" --because I caught myself. I have made the journey more difficult for myself for a while, taken a long detour from the intended path, but I am still on the road. It is my life and my future and I am committed to being here to fully embrace every moment of it.
Hi Maleah! I just wanted to leave a message of support. I have been avoiding the scale too. It's so hard with kids, especially with kids who are sick. And when we are sick ourselves! I am beginning to feel like a bear in hibernation; the boys and I have been sick at least one day a week since fall.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't think the clear versus creamy soup was a small thing. I shudder when I see the calorie count of those creamy soups at Panera - thank god they list the calories. I have an elliptical in my bedroom (a cheap one recommended by Consumer Reports). When I (very rarely) really want to exercise, I can get on it before the chore of finding something to wear to the gym or just getting there can stop me. It happens rarely, but more often than if I didn't have it.
I remember thinking I had really screwed up a couple of years ago because I was exercising a lot but not cutting calories enough to lose anything. If I had just kept up what I was doing, I wouldn't be at a new high weight :/
Who knows where you would be if you hadn't kept up the small changes you have made? I think you need to give yourself credit for posting!
xo
Amy
Hey Maleah - I just wanted to let you know I'm reading along for support. I'm having to figure out what to do about exercise for myself - because my fitness class that I usually take (at lunch) - I now have class during that time. - Erin
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