One of the Best Decisions of My Life...

I was going to call this "The Best Decision I Ever Made..." but I think my husband might object to that ;) Also, there are few absolutes in life, so this has become ONE of the best...
It doesn't have a lot to do directly with weight loss, but health and wholeness and being in touch with the things that make you tick....and it changed my life.

A few years ago, I decided to sign up for a yoga class. I'd always wanted to try it but wasn't sure how my body with fibromyalgia and carpal tunnel and inflexibility would hold up. But I finally did - and in the years since, have noticed a real change in so many things.  I never imagined that an hour a week could make such a difference.  I had to stop going to classes when I had a surgery on my wrist about 2 years ago; then my work schedule changed, my family life got busier, and the class no longer fit my schedule.  I have missed it, but have realized the importance of taking that time in my day to just "be" and be still and listen.  I have become more aware of the energy in the universe and how to work with it not against it. I have met inspiring people (thanks, Anne!) who understand the same things - and continue to share their own journey and inspirations to help the rest of us on the journey. Although I have not taken a class in 2 years, I can still "hear" the guided wisdom of my former instructor everyday.  -- thanks to the internet and Facebook.

My day is not complete without the 10 minutes of quiet breathing and meditation before I get up. Occasionally, I oversleep and must jump out of bed without this time for some reason - but I never really feel 'settled' into the day. If it's a particularly good day, I can spend some time to do a couple of poses -the tree pose is a favorite (I think because my son learned it in preschool and we used to do it together -- standing up and lying down).  I ground myself as i prepare for the day. On a recent  stressful day, I also found myself stopping in the middle of the day to meditate and give myself permission to tune in to the positive energies around me rather than getting sucked into the negative. The 5-10 minutes stopped an afternoon of feeling anxious in its tracks. It was not the first time, but in that moment, I realized how substantially walking into that class 3 years ago changed not just my physical issues at the time, but my entire perspective and ability to connect with the world around me...with myself...to listen...to learn...to feel. I don't think some of the other work I've been doing recently would be possible without that new awareness of feeling and learning to be OK with the energy around me. to move through it instead of trying to jump over it or run away from it.

It is not something that happened overnight, or something i will ever say is "done," but the awareness is a very big tool in the journey I am on. And I am fortunate that I have met some amazing people  who have been doing this much longer than I have and share their wisdom along the way. ironically, I have discovered that it takes a village to find your own truth. Learning to recognize and be at peace with that, with myself and my past, and how I got to be here in my life is so important in learning to live through and in the future i am trying to move towards. My change is happening from the inside out and I'm learning to embrace that every day.

So..this is turning into the "once-a-week-everyday" blog.  Lol
There is so much going on right now and just not enough time to sit down and give it justice.  This is the problem, I suppose, with the state of trying always to figure things out.
I keep coming back to going with the flow, letting things happen as part of growth and life, and not trying to fight against them, the idea that life is a journey and not a race.
I think the change of seasons - even if only on the calendar- gives me renewed energy and realizations. Things become more clear, my mood changes, and things seem to fall into place. I wish I could put this feeling in a bottle for the rest of the year.
It's the season of renewal, and giving myself time and permission to renew my spirit is a big part of that.  I may not be writing everyday, but I am trying to do it in other ways.  A particular musician who I love is performing nearby this weekend-- I put off buying tickets, but finally just decided that I was going to do it, that I deserve the time for me.  Luckily, they had literally 3 left! I'm going alone, but I'm committed to enjoying that space. I sometimes forget that time with and for myself is at least as essential as the time I spend on others. When I was younger, I played the violin-- and it fed my soul. Of course, I couldn't explain or understand that at the time, but when I was feeling sad or confused or uncertain, out came the violin and suddenly my world was calm again; and I'm looking forward to being in that moment at the concert.
It could be food I eat, or so many more components of my life.., but I am learning to let go, to believe that I deserve to be happy, and that I matter. To know that, and to truly believe that and live within that belief are two very different things-- which I have realized is essential to changing my path in life. I am a child of the universe...and I deserve to be happy...
Thank you all for sharing this crazy journey with me.  There are people and visions and opportunities that influence you at just the right time...and that is what makes this more sustainable in the long run.