So..this is turning into the "once-a-week-everyday" blog.  Lol
There is so much going on right now and just not enough time to sit down and give it justice.  This is the problem, I suppose, with the state of trying always to figure things out.
I keep coming back to going with the flow, letting things happen as part of growth and life, and not trying to fight against them, the idea that life is a journey and not a race.
I think the change of seasons - even if only on the calendar- gives me renewed energy and realizations. Things become more clear, my mood changes, and things seem to fall into place. I wish I could put this feeling in a bottle for the rest of the year.
It's the season of renewal, and giving myself time and permission to renew my spirit is a big part of that.  I may not be writing everyday, but I am trying to do it in other ways.  A particular musician who I love is performing nearby this weekend-- I put off buying tickets, but finally just decided that I was going to do it, that I deserve the time for me.  Luckily, they had literally 3 left! I'm going alone, but I'm committed to enjoying that space. I sometimes forget that time with and for myself is at least as essential as the time I spend on others. When I was younger, I played the violin-- and it fed my soul. Of course, I couldn't explain or understand that at the time, but when I was feeling sad or confused or uncertain, out came the violin and suddenly my world was calm again; and I'm looking forward to being in that moment at the concert.
It could be food I eat, or so many more components of my life.., but I am learning to let go, to believe that I deserve to be happy, and that I matter. To know that, and to truly believe that and live within that belief are two very different things-- which I have realized is essential to changing my path in life. I am a child of the universe...and I deserve to be happy...
Thank you all for sharing this crazy journey with me.  There are people and visions and opportunities that influence you at just the right time...and that is what makes this more sustainable in the long run.